Rose Kovach’s journey was difficult from the start. She was born in 1916 to immigrant parents who settled in a suburb of Milwaukee. Her childhood was tumultuous. At the age of 14, Rose was forced to testify that her mother’s murder of her father was in self-defense. Rose knew otherwise.
Rose never really had an easy life. She went on to marry a gregarious man named Tony. In the midst of World War II, Tony got into an argument with Rose and whimsically joined the Marines. This was not their first argument as Tony abused Rose both physically and emotionally. Left alone to care for their two babies while Tony went off to war, she asked the Catholic Church for a divorce. She wanted to ensure the children were protected from Tony’s anger. She was not only declined, she was ridiculed for asking for such a thing while her husband “fought for our country”. Rose never had it easy.
But Rose persevered. She tried to protect her children, including the two boys she had following Tony’s returned from the Pacific. Despite her 98 pound, 4′11″ frame, Rose was tough. She lived a long and fruitful life, and those who knew her remember a kind woman who had a generous heart, a hilarious wit and a warm smile.
Last night, after a long battle with Alzheimer’s and at the age of 93, Rose Kovach bid the world goodbye.
Rose Kovach Stelzner was my grandmother.
One thing that strikes me now is that Grandma Rose had a point of view on work and life. Whether is was running a bar or working in the High School cafeteria, Rose did what was necessary to help provide for her family. This is something that is true for millions of Americans today, but the simplicity of such an obvious focus is lost in the endless chatter on job creation and the plight of the unemployed.
People must work to sustain themselves and their family. It’s really that simple.
Not surprisingly, I’ve been thinking about Grandma Rose, her story and her challenges. I don’t recall her bemoaning her lot in life. I can’t think of a single harsh word spoken or a time when her laughter didn’t fill the room. She had it rough and unfortunately her story is not unique. However, my grandmother taught me that life is simply to be lived to the best of our ability. You do the best you can with what you’ve got and hopefully it’s enough.
So take a chapter from Rose’s playbook and try and make the world a little better than you found it. Build personal and lasting relationships. Make someone smile. Treat work as simply a means to focus on the things that truly make you happy.
And thank you to my little Grandma Rose. Even in death, she’s still showing me what matters. I’ll miss you.
31 Comments
I’m so sorry about your grandmother, she sounds like she was such a strong woman. My thoughts are with you and your family. I’m going to go write my grandmother a letter now. (Hug!)
Thanks for sharing Mark. This is a beautiful post.
Sustaining + living in the moment are key life themes. Finding the right balance is very important and often elusive. Live every day as if…
Best,
-M
Thanks for sharing some of Rose’s story with your readers Mark. I’m sorry for her loss and my thoughts are with you and your family. May we all be so fondly remembered when our time comes.
That is an exceptionally beautiful tribute. What an amazing woman.
I’m sorry she’s gone. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Oh Mark. So sorry to read this.
Go Rose! Mark, i am sorry for your loss but so happy that you shared her story. Rose will live on in many hearts and memories mine included. (I will skip a jab at the Catholic Church but will say that they were lucky to have her).
Some people lead with action over words and it sounds like that was Rose. A wonderful legacy to leave behind. Thanks for sharing.
Your Rose was an amazing woman – sorry for your loss.
Mark,
This is touching. Really. I had a grandfather who always believed that you paid tribute to lost loved ones best when you choose to live your life by the lessons they taught you. I think you do just that.
Mark,
What a touching story. I’m sure your grandmother was amazing. I lost my grandmother a little over a year ago and the woman raised 12 kids and they lived in a 3 bedroom house. Times were tough but families did the best they could. I once asked my grandma if she knew she was pregnant for 9 years with 12 kids. She said to me, “Oh honey, I know. I know.”
Jessica
@blogging4jobs
Very sorry to hear of the loss of your Grandmother. Your tribute to her, and by extension to all the brave, strong, and fantastic mothers and grandmothers that persevered despite incredible hardships was truly moving.
May Grandma Rose rest in peace.
Mark,
A fantastic tribute to a wonderful woman. Godspeed, Grandma Rose.
Mark,
I’ve only known you for a short time, but what I’ve come to admire and love about you is that you have a no-excuses attitude about life and work, you are determined, compassionate and generous. It seems to me that you got the very best qualities of Grandma Rose and I’m sure that she would be very proud of you. I’m proud to call you my friend.
What a great way to pay tribute Mark! May she rest in peace and her amazing attitude live on forever! I’m sorry for your loss and happy that your life was touched by such an incredible person.
Michael
Dear Mark,
I’m so sorry to hear of your dear grandmother’s passing. Thank you for this loving and beautiful tribute to her life, the love she shared with you, and the many important lessons she continues to teach. My thoughts and deep sympathy are with you and your family. I hope you will find some comfort and peace in the meaningful memories of the times you shared with this remarkable woman. The way you seek opportunities to be helpful to others and reach out with respect, compassion, and authenticity, honor her life and serve as an enduring legacy.
You and your family are in my thoughts,
Shahrzad
Dear Mark,
I’m praying for you, Yasha, and your family. Rose sounds like an amazing woman and I can see that some of her great qualities have passed to you. God bless Grandma Rose. I hope many people read her story and can take away some of her great lessons on life.
Trish
Mark, thanks for sharing this personal tribute with everyone. It’s so important for us to share our stories so that we keep the memories alive of those who have impacted our lives. Grandama Rose sounds like she was a great woman who meet her challenges head on. I hope to take a clue from her story and do the same in my own life. So sorry for your loss.
grandma rose sounds like someone we could all benefit from having known. my sympathies on losing someone so dear.
f
Best blog I’ve ever read. Really. Your grandma is one of the great ladies. Truly. Take care…
My family and I are so grateful to you all for your friendship, compassion and condolences. Thank you everyone!
Bless you and yours Mark. You are special. Thank you for that.
My condolences, Mark. Wonderful post. My grandparents lived this way as have my parents. But my wife and I had only skimmed this surface.
Until we had our own family. And when you play that out from family nucleus to neighborhood to community to city, state, country — you may just get a better world after all.
So sorry to hear about your loss, Mark. My prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing such a personal story. Grandma Rose sounds like a pretty terrific woman. Her playbook – “Build personal and lasting relationships. Make someone smile. Treat work as simply a means to focus on the things that truly make you happy” – words to live by!
Take care.
I’ve already given you my condolences, but now I want to thank you for sharing this story, Mark. I hope this message reaches many.
Mark,
So sorry to hear about your grandmother, and so appreciative that you shared her story with us. What an inspiring woman…I know that she will be missed by many.
Hugs,
Stephanie
Humbled by everyone’s response, concern and love. Thank you all!
Mark- a lovely post and tribute to your grandmother Rose- my condolences for your loss.
Mark, sorry about your Grandmother’s passing. This was a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing on your blog.
Mark, thanks for sharing.
Mark,
I sat here with tears in my eyes as I read your moving tribute to your grandmother. I am sure she is watching you with pride. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing with us.
Thank you Jason, Marguerite and Nancy. Your comments mean a lot to me.
Great advice from your Grandma Rose. I am sorry for your loss.
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