Comments on: The Illusion Of Control http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/ Changing HR one post at a time. Thu, 02 Feb 2012 09:28:06 +0000 hourly 1 By: Kari Quaas http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-16079 Kari Quaas Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:38:02 +0000 http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/?p=178#comment-16079 Great post, Mark. I've found over the years that I'm happiest when my job is just a part of my life not the end all be all of it. And, trust me when I say, that I've been unbalanced on what has been important at many times over the course of my career. It's a constant struggle for me, but I keep up the fight. : ) To Miriam's comment, I also like that quote and must have found it during my college days. As I wrote it down, the last sentence is as follows. "I am convinced that a life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it." - Charles Swindoll And Mark, I love this line in your post, "And if you’re a kid trapped in an adult’s body, find one thing this summer that revives your sense of freedom and wonderment. Do something just for you and revel in it." Thankfully, my day job with Cool Works provides those types of opportunities to folks all the time, if they're willing to make the jump. Great post, Mark. I’ve found over the years that I’m happiest when my job is just a part of my life not the end all be all of it. And, trust me when I say, that I’ve been unbalanced on what has been important at many times over the course of my career. It’s a constant struggle for me, but I keep up the fight. : )

To Miriam’s comment, I also like that quote and must have found it during my college days. As I wrote it down, the last sentence is as follows.

“I am convinced that a life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” – Charles Swindoll

And Mark, I love this line in your post, “And if you’re a kid trapped in an adult’s body, find one thing this summer that revives your sense of freedom and wonderment. Do something just for you and revel in it.” Thankfully, my day job with Cool Works provides those types of opportunities to folks all the time, if they’re willing to make the jump.

]]> By: Miriam Weiss http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-16077 Miriam Weiss Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:39:18 +0000 http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/?p=178#comment-16077 words ring true - reminds me of a quote by Charles Swindoll (1990) "the longer I live the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than the facts. It is more important than appearnace, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company - a church - a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice very day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. we cannot change our past - we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. We are in charge of our attitudes." It's gotten me to move forward in my career development and in accepting what exists around me to promote quality time both at work and at play. be well y'all! words ring true – reminds me of a quote by Charles Swindoll (1990)
“the longer I live the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than the facts. It is more important than appearnace, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company – a church – a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice very day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. we cannot change our past – we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. We are in charge of our attitudes.”
It’s gotten me to move forward in my career development and in accepting what exists around me to promote quality time both at work and at play. be well y’all!

]]> By: Rollie http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-16067 Rollie Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:34:05 +0000 http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/?p=178#comment-16067 I think the central issue isn't control at all, but integrity, wholeness. What you had as a child wasn't control, but wholeness. And I'd wager that's what many people are missing as working adults. If your work is aligned with your core values or with something you think is inherently important, it will make you feel whole. If it goes against yourself or some part of you, it will make you feel split, divided, self-contradictory. Does your work make you feel whole or does it conflict with your values in some small insidious way or several ways? Does it serve a purpose that you care about and that engages you and inspires you, or is it just for money? Ah, there's the rub... the money. That's presumably why we work -- to get paid. But it's also why we make all those soul-sucking compromises, why we split our allegiances, why we go slightly (or blatantly) against what we feel is right or important. But maybe you don't actually need as much money as you might think. Maybe you don't need to keep up with the Joneses or live 40 miles from your work and drive a big expensive car. Maybe you can actually survive fairly lavishly just by doing the things you've always wanted to but were afraid to do. Maybe you're worth more to yourself and your family than a paycheck. What have you sold for that money? I think the central issue isn’t control at all, but integrity, wholeness. What you had as a child wasn’t control, but wholeness. And I’d wager that’s what many people are missing as working adults. If your work is aligned with your core values or with something you think is inherently important, it will make you feel whole. If it goes against yourself or some part of you, it will make you feel split, divided, self-contradictory. Does your work make you feel whole or does it conflict with your values in some small insidious way or several ways? Does it serve a purpose that you care about and that engages you and inspires you, or is it just for money? Ah, there’s the rub… the money. That’s presumably why we work — to get paid. But it’s also why we make all those soul-sucking compromises, why we split our allegiances, why we go slightly (or blatantly) against what we feel is right or important. But maybe you don’t actually need as much money as you might think. Maybe you don’t need to keep up with the Joneses or live 40 miles from your work and drive a big expensive car. Maybe you can actually survive fairly lavishly just by doing the things you’ve always wanted to but were afraid to do. Maybe you’re worth more to yourself and your family than a paycheck. What have you sold for that money?

]]> By: DreamKeaper http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-16057 DreamKeaper Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:37:53 +0000 http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/?p=178#comment-16057 These kind of feelings come from defining ones self by a career only later to find out that the things given up for a career are of far greater importance and value. Ever notice how quickly you can be replaced? Besides a fleeting mention at a company lunch, does anyone really remember you after you retire? When you are on a vacation, does the company still function? Then why would you put your heart and soul into that? Deadlines? Unless you are in the medical field or are trying to get your client a reprieve from the governor for a midnight execution, deadlines are better defined as guidelines with ego’s. Remind me again why my client needs this by 4PM on Friday? Sure he is going to read it over the weekend? Do your job; Do it well; but don’t sacrifice your life for it. These kind of feelings come from defining ones self by a career only later to find out that the things given up for a career are of far greater importance and value. Ever notice how quickly you can be replaced? Besides a fleeting mention at a company lunch, does anyone really remember you after you retire? When you are on a vacation, does the company still function? Then why would you put your heart and soul into that? Deadlines? Unless you are in the medical field or are trying to get your client a reprieve from the governor for a midnight execution, deadlines are better defined as guidelines with ego’s. Remind me again why my client needs this by 4PM on Friday? Sure he is going to read it over the weekend?
Do your job; Do it well; but don’t sacrifice your life for it.

]]> By: John Mahoney http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-16024 John Mahoney Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:59:24 +0000 http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/?p=178#comment-16024 I work for a start-up company and consistently feel out of control with how the company has been progressing over the past 10 months. It is easy for me to get worked up over something that you do eight hours a day, five days per week (minimum) but the only person that suffers from that behavior is me. As noted in the post, there is no sense in getting all worked up over a job when we are just a small part of the machine. I can make suggestions on how to improve our business to the upper management but if they disagree with me then I can take comfort knowing that I did my part. A wise man once told me that "The boss is not always right but he is always the boss." I work for a start-up company and consistently feel out of control with how the company has been progressing over the past 10 months. It is easy for me to get worked up over something that you do eight hours a day, five days per week (minimum) but the only person that suffers from that behavior is me.

As noted in the post, there is no sense in getting all worked up over a job when we are just a small part of the machine. I can make suggestions on how to improve our business to the upper management but if they disagree with me then I can take comfort knowing that I did my part. A wise man once told me that “The boss is not always right but he is always the boss.”

]]> By: mark.stelzner http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-15968 mark.stelzner Sat, 15 Aug 2009 14:30:49 +0000 http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/?p=178#comment-15968 @C-level mgr - I love that you have found something that you enjoy and look forward to your report back! @fran melmed - Love that quote..."the pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness". Thanks Fran. @klundin - So glad to get another perspective here Kris. I wish more people were so optimistic and positive about their work. And although many are so terribly unhappy, I think we tend to get complacent despite the "drudgery". Thanks for your thoughts. @mark allen roberts - You're touching on an interesting issue many CEOs struggle with. I appreciate your comment. @C-level mgr – I love that you have found something that you enjoy and look forward to your report back!

@fran melmed – Love that quote…”the pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness”. Thanks Fran.

@klundin – So glad to get another perspective here Kris. I wish more people were so optimistic and positive about their work. And although many are so terribly unhappy, I think we tend to get complacent despite the “drudgery”. Thanks for your thoughts.

@mark allen roberts – You’re touching on an interesting issue many CEOs struggle with. I appreciate your comment.

]]> By: Mark Allen Roberts http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-15926 Mark Allen Roberts Thu, 13 Aug 2009 20:19:56 +0000 http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/?p=178#comment-15926 Great post, Not only is the false perception we are in control a common occurrence it is reinforced throughout the Bible we are not truly in control. Couple the false perception we must be in control, with we that are supposed to know everything it is no wonder so many CEO’s die of heart attacks. The key is to know what you know, as well as know what you do not know but need to know. I talk about this in my blog post at http://nosmokeandmirrors.wordpress.com/2009/02/05/do-you-know-what-you-dont-know/ . Thanks, Mark Allen Roberts Great post,
Not only is the false perception we are in control a common occurrence it is reinforced throughout the Bible we are not truly in control.
Couple the false perception we must be in control, with we that are supposed to know everything it is no wonder so many CEO’s die of heart attacks. The key is to know what you know, as well as know what you do not know but need to know. I talk about this in my blog post at http://nosmokeandmirrors.wordpress.com/2009/02/05/do-you-know-what-you-dont-know/ .
Thanks,
Mark Allen Roberts

]]> By: klundin http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-15923 klundin Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:44:28 +0000 http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/?p=178#comment-15923 You know, Mark. I gotta say, I love what I do. Yeah I don't have control all the time and yes, the time that work takes me away from my family frustrates me but I've been fortunate enough to land in a place where I can be passionate and creative and that, to me, is more important than just control. Some consider me a terrible geek because I'm so excited about achieving something others might consider trivial, but that's what keeps me doing this. If I didn't love my work, I don't think I'd do it. And that, my friends, can often be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If it's drudgery, isn't that a clear reason to try something else? Thanks, Mark for the dialog- Kris You know, Mark. I gotta say, I love what I do. Yeah I don’t have control all the time and yes, the time that work takes me away from my family frustrates me but I’ve been fortunate enough to land in a place where I can be passionate and creative and that, to me, is more important than just control. Some consider me a terrible geek because I’m so excited about achieving something others might consider trivial, but that’s what keeps me doing this. If I didn’t love my work, I don’t think I’d do it. And that, my friends, can often be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If it’s drudgery, isn’t that a clear reason to try something else? Thanks, Mark for the dialog- Kris

]]> By: fran melmed http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-15922 fran melmed Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:26:17 +0000 http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/?p=178#comment-15922 funny, sad, fine post. reminds me of a quote i once saw on a poster (believe it or not!) that spoke to me: the pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness. thanks, mark. f funny, sad, fine post. reminds me of a quote i once saw on a poster (believe it or not!) that spoke to me: the pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness. thanks, mark. f

]]> By: C-level mgr with kids http://inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/08/12/the-illusion-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-15921 C-level mgr with kids Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:25:35 +0000 http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/?p=178#comment-15921 Very true and a little sad. You have perfect timing. I have been thinking I need to do something new and exciting for me (haven't thought about what yet). I have 2 small children and like most people who work with kids have little time for themselves: 7-8:30 (kids); 8:30-5 (work); 5-9 (kids); 9-bedtime (house, husband, some more work, etc). The greatest thing I do for myself is a 5:30 boot camp 3 days a week. I love it and it is worth every penny and early morning wake ups. It is my only 'me' time of the day. It also helps with every day stress. I will take your advice and do something fulfilling this summer/early fall that I have not done and report back. Very true and a little sad. You have perfect timing. I have been thinking I need to do something new and exciting for me (haven’t thought about what yet).

I have 2 small children and like most people who work with kids have little time for themselves: 7-8:30 (kids); 8:30-5 (work); 5-9 (kids); 9-bedtime (house, husband, some more work, etc). The greatest thing I do for myself is a 5:30 boot camp 3 days a week. I love it and it is worth every penny and early morning wake ups. It is my only ‘me’ time of the day. It also helps with every day stress. I will take your advice and do something fulfilling this summer/early fall that I have not done and report back.

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