Let’s face it, HR generally gets a bad rap. But whether you like HR or not, these are the people in your company who hold the keys to your pay, learning, benefits and opportunity for advancement. So given this fact, why do employees sometimes insist on behaving like such morons? Perhaps it’s their personal goal to piss off HR. Â If so, here are five guaranteed means to that end:
1. Take No Personal Accountability:
Something going wrong at work? Have an issue that can’t seem to get resolved? Here’s the solution – break the mirror of self-reflection and hold a jagged shard to the throat of HR until they fix it for you. Whatever you do, don’t try to take corrective action yourself or realize that your actions may have contributed to the problem. That would be crazy.
2. Forget How To Read:
It’s funny how your ability to read seems to fade in and out at the office. Just receive your comp plan? Suddenly you know how to read. Instructions on a new travel policy? Oops, synapses stop firing and the words just don’t make sense anymore. Reading may be fundamental, but why take the joy away from the HR rep who can do the reading for you.
3. Leave Quality Control to Others:
We all like to have a good time at work, but wouldn’t it be fun if you entered your personal or dependent information incorrectly on the corporate intranet? Even better, what if you filled out the forms with conflicting information! But here’s the best tip – if you’re getting married or having a baby, keep that information a secret until you need something. HR loves surprises.
4. Threaten To Quit…Repeatedly:
Every negotiator laughs and laughs when someone threatens to jump…. and then does it again…. and then does it again. Repetition for the sake of personal gain is frickin’ hilarious! And don’t concern yourself with little things like pay parity, your industry reputation or appearing to cry wolf. Those are just HR terms designed to confuse you.
5. Act Entitled:
This garbage about “hard work pays off” is absurd, right? Try this instead – just show up. That’s right, focus on attendance like you’re a fifth grader earning a ribbon. But don’t do this presenteeism bit too much or people might think you care. I say do the minimum and expect the maximum reward. Oh, and one other thing, ask your parents to call every once in a while to remind HR what a good person you are. Those are precious moments.
If you follow these five tips, I’m certain you’ll be on your way to endearing yourself permanently in the hearts and minds of your HR department.
So HR pros, how have employees helped to put you into a blind rage? Share your tales of woe and let’s keep the conversation going.
15 Comments
I especially like #2. The incredible ability of employees to not read ANYTHING was my day-to-day life when I worked in HR.
“…why take the joy away from the HR rep who can do the reading for you.”
Love it.
My other personal favorite was employees asking me for information about another employee’s job status, health status, discipline status, you name it. Because, of course, they have every right to know. Sheesh.
I love no2 as well… Just mailed 300 employees with the sentence:
we – as a company – invite you to cooperate with us in the effort to reduce sick-leave bla.bla.bla.”
I got approx 100 mails from people asking when do we meet, why I had singled her/him out for sickness, and so forth. I had to read it aloud to them with max. intonation.
As a benefits professional #3 is my biggest pet peeve. I love when employees try and add their new spouse to the insurance and realize that they never terminated the old spouse. Of course, I don’t love it near as much as the new spouse does.
This post is funny, sad, and true, especially number two. I’m the point person for updating and enforcing the company’s policies and procedures. I don’t know how many people we’ve disciplined or terminated who said to me “That’s not in the handbook.” When you point out that it actually is, then their response is inevitably “Well, I didn’t read it.”
I especially love when employees ask for a different opinion/answer than I give. Something like ~ I don’t like your answer. Is there someone else I can talk to?
Yeah, the president. Call him up.
http://hrpatriot.blogspot.com/2009/05/hr-grad-programs.html
I am working on a post about the best HR Graduate programs. How can I submit it to the upcoming HR Blog Carnival? Post link is above.
@Kari Quaas – Terrific addition of employees asking for their peers personal status/information. Might need to expand our list to the Top 10!
@Steen – Ha! Perfect example.
@BeneGirl – “I don’t love it nearly as much as the new spouse does.” <– What a quote. That one had me laughing.
@Creative Chaos – Yes, the beloved handbook. It’s funny because I don’t think employees need to necessary memorize it, but they should at least reference it before they call you with question. Ugh…
@Deirdre – Ha! Nice one Dee.
@HR Patriot – You can email me your post(s) for the 6/24 HR Carnival to mark.stelzner@inflexionadvisors.com. Thanks!
Give me a Break. Looks like everyone complains about their job, even HR. That’s why it’s HR, deal with the people for the good or the bad.
#2: They do not read their comp plans until they have an issue. Then they always ask “When did that policy change?”. . . Only seven years ago.
The joys of selective illiteracy.
So, the HR people respond as if they are NOT “employees” themselves. Somehow, they are better than that…ummm, does anyone else (besides Givemeabreak) see a problem here?
I particulary like the employees who don’t realize they haven’t had any fed/state taxes deducted all year until they get their W2. Must be the non-reading issue again.
And yes, HR people are employees but we tend to take care of the important issues and not ignore them!
Got here thru’ the Carnival of HR at Rowan’s blog.
I like #4! Retention was big deal in an upswing market and this happened so regularly that I lost count of it. The trick was to stop the first person in the team that cried wolf! The rest of them aborted their hijack-the-hr plan midway and got back to work…
Anyone who does HR analysis will appreciate this one:
“It may be what I asked you for, but it’s NOT WHAT I WANTED!!!”
@GiveMeABreak – Right, ’cause HR should just accept when employees act like morons. Not to parrot your name, but give me a break.
@SalesComp – My wife used to work in sales comp so I feel your pain.
@YourKiddingMe – No, it’s not that HR is claiming to be “better than that”, it’s that these are all issues that are in an employee’s control (and therefore frustrating as hell).
@Tina – Wow! Nothing like a friendly penalty from the IRS to wake you up.
@The HR Store – Great advice.
@EvilHRISGuy – Ha! Yes, mind reading is more of an art than a skill, it seems.
hey guys,
I read the entries – and while on the beach I wrote my thoughts on the subject
http://blog.incedo.dk/?p=204
Give it a readthrough ad feel free to comment